A little long winded emo post

After many years of MIA, I am finally back with a breaking heart. Just feel like pouring out all my feeling here.

A quick update on what has happened, I got dumped on Valentine's Day. However, I did manage to persuade him to stay. Everyone know there is no point to beg a person to stay when they have already don't love you anymore. I know all my actions are so silly, but just to show how much I felt for him. We get back together for almost two weeks and he decided to talk about it again. Hence, at this time I know I am literally at the loosing end and I let him go.

Not knowing the actual reason, not that he didn't explain. But I find that the reason he gave wasn't strong enough for a guy to change his heart in just 5 days of being apart with each others. Hope you guys never judge him from here. I am not here to blame or what, but just to jot down everything I appreciated, learnt and wish to bring with me in my entire live.

Story began five years ago. I was so bored that time and facebook was the new trend back then. The only thing I do back aside from work is facebooking. One day I came over this guy who I think he is cute, adorable and of course handsome. I added him and we started to talk a little. Day by day passed, and I realized how good to have him as my friend. Everyday, I looking forward to finish my work and go home just to chat with him. Eventually we sparked and we then get together.

The first few months were terrible. We were far apart from each other and I get so insecure that we argue almost every other day. After his much persuasion, I decided to give in and move to a city which I know nothing just to continue my study (the main point) and also to be nearer with him. At that time, I know I really make a big move which I have maybe hurt or worried my parents. Only to think that I can spend more time with him, it makes me felt slightly better.

We got so attached together and at that point of time I believe in our future. I can see we live happily ever after, but all this is only one sided. More arguments occur and I started to not believe. But to my surprise with all this he only started to believe that we have our future. After knowing that he does care about our future, I rebuild my trust for him, clear all the hurtful experience we encounter and most of all he moved in to my rented place to stay with me after he graduated. Of course, is nearer to his workplace and we can save some 'moolah' by doing so.

Along the way, there are many hitches and happiness. Time passes so fast that I became so rely on him, my only closest friend, my brother, my father, my teacher and of course my lovely boyfriend. I guess I being too depending on him that he gets really tired.

On 2011, my dad decided to buy a house for us in this huge city. I know his action is to show how much he cares for me and I know too, he doesn't want me to stay in this huge city forever. His wish to me is to get back to stay by my family. But to what I know, I am here working towards our very own family with this guy. I am here not that I don't miss my hometown, my friends back there and all my caring family members.

We moved into the new place and live goes one. We get so close with each other family and friends. I guess the friends part is only me being too attached to him so he bring me out every time he goes out with his friend. The only bit that I am not close with in his life is his colleagues. I know none of them and I guess they do not even know my existence.

Finally I am graduated and stepped into the society, I learned a lot at my work place. It changes me to a better me, a little better me from time to time. I no longer so 'princessie', I started to understand what he always tell me 'not everything are black and white in this world, grey is the color that stand in most of the case'.

Today is only the 4th day we are apart and I miss him like crazy. Just like now, I get awake and missed him so badly. I called him, which I know I am not suppose to, just to hear his voice. I know I gave him a big shocked to call in the 'wee' hour. Get scolded and all but I still love him. The only question I have now is, how should I stop crying when my heart is still so painful and hurtful. I tried so hard to cut him of from my heart, just to my realized, his root have grown so deep inside which I didn't manage to cut them out. Memories remain, pain will always be there.

I know you are not reading this, baby, but I just want to tell you that I really do loves you. Sorry for being a not considerate girlfriend back then (which you mentioned), and a not considerate ex girlfriend now. Here with my sincere heart, I apologize for everything. Once again, I love you.

Last academic exam in my life! *I hope so*

Finally I'm back to blow off the superb thick dust that fell on my site. I'm so busy with my academic stuff and I suppose to post an entry about CommFest but I didn't. Anyway, I have done with my Diploma, left the one and only last paper on this coming Friday.

CommFest has over but now only I don't want it to finished so soon. I miss all the meeting's stress and preparation's teamwork from all the team members. You know what, you guys are awesome and I had learn a lot from all of you. I likkiee you all. Just realized that I don't have any group photo with you guys. *I can't open the file, don't have the software" *sad*

Anyway, I have to apologize to Ishmael here. I'm super sorry for what happened yesterday. Seriously, I don't mean to do that to anyone includes you. I felt super bad and so demoralized. Super duper sorry, bro. I will miss all your laughter and jokes, so you better stay in TU to further your studies. =P Of course, others as well, hope to see all of you in TU near future.

Okay, I need to go back to my notes now. Revision time. I just don't know why, every time I study SP I will update a post. OMG. I just don't know how the schema link it in my brain, anyway it works, SP=blogging. HAHAA.

What if...

What if you still have your ex photo in your social networking profile?

What if your ex finds out that?

What if your ex current partner finds out that?

What if your current partner finds out that?

What if the photo cause uneasy feeling towards your ex?

What if the photo cause uneasy feeling towards yourself?

What if the photo cause uneasy feeling towards the current partners of your's and your ex's?

What if and what if..

*****************************************

Why you just want to make other suffer by not taking off the photo?

Just to show your possession?

And just to show your possession it cause others suffering!

So the only way is just take off the FREAKING PHOTO or DON'T MAKE YOUR CURRENT PARTNER AS YOUR EX!

Start treating your partner right before the sand in hour-glass run dry.

Once the sand in hour-glass dry up, how much chances you think your partner will give you to re-fix everything?

Have you heard of this before?

People tears are like the sand in an hour-glass. Once they run dry, that's when your time is up.

personwhomeantsomuchtome!!

Here it goes again. After been such a long while I been procrastinating not only to write my blog as well as my assignment and mid-term exam revision.

What I have done pass few weeks? Oh ya, did I told you I have got my new lappie for free. It's a HP Mini from streamyx.. Woohoo..

And I have make it so far to my final semester. There will be another long way to go, ya )=. Anyway, mid-term is still on till next week and assignment deadline is only going to end by mid October i think..

Recently, I have this problem with one of the people around me and I find that it is a very good experience to handle conflicts like this. However, I will not step back to give you room and I will not ever going to admits things that is not done by me be it good or bad. No matter what, I should thank that particular person to be my side for so long and all the things that person done for me is much appreciated as well as I not going to forget bits and pieces of our memories. This is how much impact you imposed to my life.

Okay, I am happy with what I have currently. I am glad that both of you been my side all the time to help me out and be a SUPERB DUPERB good listener, maybe I can say advisor to me. HAHAHAHA. How much both of you meant to me will never ever able to be describe by words. Sometimes, I admit I am too emotional that might throw my temper on you girls, but ya, I apologies for that.

Thanks to another individual who have been taking in all my unhappiness like a DBKL. HAHA. I will not going to let you go. HEHE. and remember what promises you made for me as well as I made for you.

Finally, Mom and Dad, I miss you. Hope to go home now. Terrible homesick. )=

Love all of you a lot.

Dramatic Batch

Finally our "dramatic batch" (= have make it into the final semester, and now comes the most important subject for all of us, our FYP. FYP stands for Final Year Project which is applicable to all, with different major you will have different FYP. PR group FYP is known as proPassion which is some sort of event management and consultant. We have to form a group to serve our client, which is Taylor's University College, School of Communication for this semester. The goal is to manage the annual Mass Colympic in Taylor's University College LakeSide Campus with targeted amount of audiences.

Here comes the hoohaa for our dramatic group again. Everyone have to grab a post to be in-charge of in this project. Most of them seems like wanted to have all those high-post which is now making a big hoohaa. I am pissed off seriously about this problem. Maybe you can say, just first week why so many hoohaa. Maybe all of them are so "kiasu". If you seriously have the ability to bring out the work, no one will say anything. For those, who have already try the position last semester, why not give chances to others. Don't be so selfish LA, people. As well give yourself a chance to try out in other department.

Hope all of you will have the DESIRABLE position, since you all are fighting so hard. =P

All the best to proPassion July 2010.

Assumption, the termites of LOVE.

Sorry for being MIA this while. Life was tiring with intern.

Anyway, forget bout intern temporarily. It is Saturday. Wheee.. And I am staying at home doing nothing and not going anywhere at this wonderful day.

This is going to be a very emo piece. Please LEAVE if you do not want to be affected. ^^

Recently, I have been through too much up and down in my love life. I am so tired of it; I am still holding it so strong. Had talk to babe R about it and there I find out that she is going through what I used to face. Is it that love will have to get through all this shit?

Once you start to assume something about your partners, that is the start of those shit. Do not assume me to understand what you are thinking of. I am not a psychic that able to read mind. I won't know what have happen, only until you willing to spend a little bit of your saliva to tell me.

Is it that I am so hard to communicate with? Or I am so scary that you rather not to tell and assuming on it?

I do not attract and interest you anymore. I can bet this with my life.

I am so dilemma, to let go or not to? I understand no one will able to help me to make any decision on this. Maybe what she used to tell you a year ago is true, I am not good enough for you. Will you be more happy without me?

I have get enough from you. It hurts, don't you know it? However, I can promise that you a lot more important to me than what you can see. *Cross Finger*

Don't feel left out!!

hehe.. =) Don't feel left out, I am here to update you. Sorry for being missing for such a long time, just some updates on internship. (Since many of you asking) Okay, start from the early morning to my lovely lunch and evening.

1. I wake up at 0600hrs everyday in order not to be late to work. HAHA!! Second week only, still semangat. (Semangat DONG!!)
2. After prepared, I will walk to NanYangsSiangPau there to catch bus at 0645hrs.
3. Bus arrive somewhere 0700hrs to 0730hrs.(Depends on my luck)
   
4. Bus will drop me at Kelana Jaya station, the King Crab there, walk from there to office. Reach office somewhere 0745hrs(Usually)
5. Wait for my colleague to open the door, then start giggle on my personal work first.
6. At 0830hrs, DONG!!(the clock sound) Work start.. =)
7. Work Work and Work!!!
8. 1300hrs out for lunch with my superb friendly and lovely colleague. (Seriously I never meet such a good Lady Boss before, and superior that extreme friendly, funny and lovely.)
9. After one hour lunch break, back to Work Work and Work!!
10. Finally 1730hrs, end of shift and my lovely superior fetch me home. =) thank so much to both of you.
    

This is my working live. And I have a trip to Sungai Lembing in two weeks time which I no longer looking forward and I cannot pull myself out from the trip. )= No one will know what is the main reason, beside you babe MooMoo.

Hope to see babe R this coming Saturday, but I am not sure I able to make it not.

Okay, that's all for now. Need to search for some Indian Artist now.

Byebye!!